and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
