We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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