there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
