Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
