i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
