How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize