i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
