haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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