hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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