Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
