That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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