either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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