i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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