you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
