Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
