i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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