We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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