EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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