your thong is hanging out like whoa
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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