just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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