She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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