Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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