Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
