we're chasing vodka with high fives
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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