I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
