Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize