dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
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Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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