yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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