I understand Curling. That high.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
