We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
