Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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