Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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