So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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