I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
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You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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