This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
