oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
