It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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