Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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