Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
tell me about the eggs
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
