If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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