Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize