Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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