she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize