when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
