i barfeds in our rink
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
