Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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