the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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