I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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