I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
