you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
