i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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