her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
