Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
