She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
