I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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