Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
