Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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