I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
