I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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