dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
