so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
