Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
