I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
