I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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