Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
