ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
