But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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