hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
