for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
