oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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